Category Archives: Humour
Halos Savages and bad hair days
Parental Talk
The bad news is my toddler dumped my husband’s large water bottle all over the couch and himself. The good news is now he’s had his bath
I told my toddler he was so cute I could just eat him up and now he’s bringing me snacks from the kitchen so I’m not hungry.
My kids’ friends’ mom always has some exciting craft for them to do when they go to her house. When my kids’ friends are over, I just sit on the couch and occasionally call out “does anyone want chips?”
*Googles Thanksgiving recipes* *Googles easy Thanksgiving recipes* *Googles really easy Thanksgiving recipes* *Googles is McDonald’s open on Thanksgiving*
My toddler just slapped me with one glove. She may not know what it means but I’m a woman of honour. We duel at dawn.
Nobody prepared me for how loudly babies sleep
10 said she doesn’t like my coffee breath, but she’d rather deal with that than my “decaf personality,” I think she’s figured out marriage.
“Daddy, are you going to pick me up from Art Club or do I have to ride the bus that smells like bare feet and underwear?” and other ways 11 y/o’s communicate with their parents.
i feel a little slimmer after a week of eating mostly goldfish crackers, clementines, fig newtons and string cheese…i’m calling this the toddler diet
Me: You can pick between Superman or Spiderman. 3yo: I pick Batman!
My kids ran out of corks for art projects so I ordered a case of wine,
I feel this is my moment to shine
told my kids to build a fort to get them off their iPads, so now they’re in the fort, watching their iPads
Fasteners Taxis and Gasoline
More than one thought for the day
“Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?”
I don’t have kids so I wanna take my dog to the zoo. Why shouldn’t he get to see an elephant?
Walked in on 10 sneaking Halloween candy and when I asked her what she’s doing, she looked me dead in the eye and said, “Practicing.”
After my son asked my daughter to play “dragon ninjas” i walked over and got the box of band-aids without a second thought
Oh I get it, you think you’re better than me cuz your kid has both shoes on.
I caught my husband eating the last Reese’s candy. First of all, that’s our son’s candy. Second of all, I was going to eat that.
How’s your hearing?
And Today IS …
‘It’s Friday. We don’t need to wear a tie or get ourselves in a row.’
They’ve already started
In advance of next year